I'm sure you all like to brag on your kids, and I'm sure they are just as cute as the next kid, but seriously, my kid says the BEST things. Hands.Down. I will take you toe to toe - head to head - toddler-ism for toddler-ism and win every time. I'm sorry. But let's face it: There is no ism like a Noah-ism.
So to prove my point, here are a few that I have saved throughout the last few weeks to brighten your evening. There are so many, I had to narrow it down to the top ten.
10) N: Why isn't Captain America one of the x-guys?
(Obviously not well versed in comic-back stories....)Me: Well.... maybe they live in different places so they just don't know eachother.... (YES YES I KNOW! X-MEN ARE MUTANTS AND CAPTAIN AMERICA IS JUST A GENETICALLY ALTERED HEAVY ARMS-MAN...oh wait...that's kinda mutated.... right? So sue me if I didn't want to explain "mutant" or "genetically altered" to a four-year old. Or even different authors because that would crush his dream of the Avengers being real... like ousting Santa Claus, but worse)
N: But Captain America lives in America..... and the X-guys live in America...... sooooooo
Doh!
9) (Listening to the radio)
N: Why is this girl on fire in this song?!?
8) N: Why are Indians naked outside?.... (pause pause pause)... Can I be?
7) N: Is Dinah still a baby?
Me: Yes, but she is growing up
N: Is she going to have Wine Cat food when she gets big?
6) (On how you know the difference between boys and girls)
N: Boys have handsome hair and girls have pretty blond hair
Me: So what if a girl has brown hair?
N: (looking at me like I have half a brain) Then she's a boy
Duh
5) N: (praying) Dear Jesus...please help Higgins to get better....
Me: (interrupting) Is Higgins sick??
N: Well...no.... it's just in case.
Divine Insurance
4) N: Wanna hear how I treat monsters? I put them in a baby chair and feed them YUCKY food.
Oh the cruel and unusual punishment! Musta learned from the best....
3) Me: Maybe when you get bigger, you can go hunting with daddy. What do you think you'll hunt?
N: I will shoot corn......and grapes.... and pickles.... and other things for dinner
The World's first Vegetarian hunter
2) N: You're not my favorite.
Me: Ok.....? Who is?
N: Daddy. He's my favorite (naturally.....)
Me: Geez kid....What do I have to do around here to be your favorite?
N: Tickle me! ...... But NOT now! Don't tickle me now
Oh well, it was worth a shot ;)
1) Me: Eat up your oatmeal! It'll fill up your belly so you won't be hungry anymore.
N: And get all the wrinkles out!
Me: Oatmeal gets wrinkles out?
N: Yes, it gets the wrinkles out of my tummy! (Holding out tummy proudly) See? The wrinkles are gone!
Sign me up for some of that! Wonder if it works on necks too.....
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