Noahisms #2

It's time for more Noah-isms! No introduction required. Here's Noah's TopTen Countdown !

10) Noah: What are the holes in the bottom of the swing for?
Me: So that they don't fill up with rain.
Noah:  (dismissively) No, no....it's so that our bottoms can breathe!

9) N: Does it smell like tacos in here?
Me: (sniffing the van air) Maybe a little
N: That's because I'm tooooooting!!!

Could be worse...

8) N: How do you put on a rocket pack?
Me: I don't know, Hon.
N: Maybe you should ask Siri!...... When I get big, and I marry you, THEN I can tell you!

Guess Siri didn't provide a satisfactory answer.....

7) Noah: Is Dinah (the cat) eating lentils????

Never thought of Purina Cat Chow that way...

6) Noah: God is like a Super Hero!!!! Because he saves kids from sin!

5) N: If you see a man with a black mustache, a black hat, and two bags of money, that's a bad guy. If you leave him alone, he'll leave you alone!
Me: Like a bee????
N: Or a wasp.... Or a turtle..... Or a chicken

Admittedly, some of those chickens can be kind of bad-guy-ish..... Nevermind sharks, it's the chickens we have to look out for!

4) Daddy: (furious) YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO US!!! Because ...... WE MADE YOU!!!
Noah: (sniggers imp-like, exasperated) You're not God!

Oh man.... Who knew Sunday School would backfire on that one..haha

3) While cleaning out the garage....
Noah (holding Tyler's football): Let's play football!
Me: Nonononononononono (panicked, I snatch the ball from him) I'm sorry! We can't play with that ball.... It stays in the case!
Noah: Why??
Me: Because someone very important (Kurt Warner!)  wrote his name on it and we don't want it to get messed up!
Noah: (indignant) Why isn't MY name on it?!

Good question ;)

2) On Tyler's Birthday
N: Twenty-eight is my FAVORITE number!
Me: What do you think you'll be doing when YOU'RE 28?
N: I'll build trucks.... I'll be a construction mechanic
Me: Where will you live?
N: I'll live next-door to our old house.
Me: Who will you live with? Will you be married?
N: I'll marry Jamma and Papa.....OR I think I can get married to Ms. Meg or somebody who didn't get married....like a girl.
Me: And will you have children?
N: (gravely) No, I'll be too old to have children

BAM!

And the best and final one....

1) N: Can I watch 'Time to shoot?'
Me: (horrified and confused) You want to watch WHAT???!!!!!!?
N: You know...the movie...with the bear..... 'Time to Shoot'.......
(Light dawns!)
Me: OOOOOHHHHHHH (almost weeping with relief) You mean 'Open Season!'

Whew!